Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
