but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it was like eating out sand paper
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
