If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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