so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
