It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
