Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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