If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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