Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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