So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
