Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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