like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
