***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
