yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
