drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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