five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
