I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
did i walk over a car last night?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
