butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
