everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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