What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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