i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
