I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
