i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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