Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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