Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
