i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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