I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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