Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
