just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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