like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
