just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
