Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
