Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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