..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
