I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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