I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's blow job season.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
