i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
