help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
