he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
