So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
