just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
