I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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