I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
