Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
