I want to stick my p in your. b.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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