Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
