5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
