I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
