Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
