she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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