I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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