this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
